Torture
by SarcasticReaper
Summary: Losing someone is hard, even for the Rider of the Pale Horse. Death's emotions get the best of him when grief twists its sharpened blade into his heart. Rated M for disturbing imagery.
1. Her Lovely Bones

This** work is based on a headcanon that one of my tumblr friends had that said that Death had a mate or lover before the mass genocide he had committed on the Nephilim, and because of that, he had to kill her as well. I believe that if Death had a mate, the two of them would be extremely close, because from what I've seen from DSII, Death is hard to get along with in the first place. So this would've had to have been a special kind of relationship, which makes it all the more tragic and heart-wrenching.**

** I've had this hiding away in my phone for ages, so I finally got it up here! I also have other sappy stories btwn Death and a character I made up. They're just cutesy little fluff filled things that I write for my own amusement, I'll probably put a few of those up here as well!**

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><p><em>Chapter 1: Her Lovely Bones<em>

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><p><em>"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.<em>  
><em> I long for that feeling, to not feel at all.<em>  
><em>The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.<em>  
><em>I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."<em>  
><em>Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart<em>

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><p>He sat there, looking at the ground with a silent infuriating anger boiling in his head. Death, The Kinslayer, The Reaper, had pain in his heart. His black hair gently swayed with small breezes that passed in the density of the medium room he sat in, he was uneasy and weak.<p>

It was even hard for him to see her go, including when he was the one who had to kill her. He had no choice, his commitment as one of the four horsemen is the reaping of souls. But, not even Death could stand the idea of killing someone he truly and deeply cared about. He cried and wept, screaming for her to come back, burst into fits of rage towards himself.

The anger seeped into his body like water creeping in between the cracks of a sidewalk, it ate at his insides and made him ache. His extreme anger changed into a sort of sickened delusion where she still lives and was able to talk to him, but then snapping out of it caused Death to fall into a blind rage once again.

He felt so cold and alone. He lay on the floor in grief and depression, one hand shrouded his eyes from the rest of the world as he moaned for her back. He falls silent after minutes and minutes of painful cries, gasps of air, and evil growls at nothing. He tore off the cowl that covered his upper torso and threw it aside. Death's low and gravelly voice killed the silence of the room as he plead: "Come back to me!" followed by fits of painful rage. He became so angry that nearby objects became targets for his unbound anger - walls were punched into, leaving blood stains and cracked cement. He didn't care how much it hurt, Death was already consumed by sadness and pain, it didn't matter how much bodily harm he committed to himself, he wanted to feel it.

Death's hand was bloody and throbbing. It shook uncontrollably from its extreme mutilation. Death could feel bones were broken in his hand, but he still did not care. He tried to make a fist, but it was no use. He felt the pain surge up his arm with a burning sensation, and then heard a crack from within the mess of flesh and blood and felt more pain. Tears slid down his bone mask as he grew angry. His swelling emotions made his head hurt and body numb again, with cold air piercing his pale skin like small needles performing acupuncture to the point where he would've bled. Again, Death wouldn't mind it.

He punched his broken hand into the wall once more. Blood spat out of his hand again, drowning it in a dark red. His shrieks echoed in the little white room as he gasped in painful breaths. He looked at his hand again, this time, worse than before. It shook and throbbed so much that it felt like it was being used as a drum, channeling his pain through his nervous system with each painful beat. Blood covered his hand like a warm blanket cutting off his circulation straight through his skin.

_How could Death be so weak? He deserves the pain. The cocky bastard had it coming! The eldest of the horsemen, the idol of fear, the ending of life, Death, so brash and full of himself in a quiet, sarcastic way. He has no soul apparently, his heart made of ice, innards of thorn, hair of night, skin of snow, and eyes of fire. Make him suffer. Make him bleed. He does not deserve love! KILL HER! KILL HER! KILL HER!  
><em>

Death snapped out of yet another hallucination. He was faced with how the world saw him, how he was perceived. Not ah intimidating or formidable, but evil.

Why cant he just end? To be with her again, to love her again, to hold her.

He had wrapped the injury in his cowl to stop the bleeding as much as he could. He settled down a bit and used his good hand to cover his face as he continued to cry softly. It felt as if the world wanted this to happen to him. No one cared about him. Death always perceived himself as someone who could handle things on his own, but for the first time, he wanted help.

He lay on the cold floor for ten long minutes until he was inclined to rise. Something was drawing him near a door on the far end of the room and shouted for him to go in. Death never even noticed the door until now, and its like he was being forced to see what was on the other side of this eerie blockade. His hand gently laid itself along the wooden finish, feeling every little crack and the roughness of the wood. His hand then clutched the doorknob and turned. As the door was opening, a dense cold fog crept out of the doorway followed by an extreme cold.

What he saw next, he never expected. It made him tremble with disbelief.

Her body lay sat in a corner in the dimly-lit room, appearing to be a sleeping figure. Her shoulders were slumped over and her head was faced towards the ground. It was her.

Death slowly made his way toward her, holding his injured arm to try to ease the pain. He knelt down beside his love and held her lifeless hand.

"N... n - no. no."

Death removed his mask and put it aside. He completely forgot about how cold the room was, he was oblivious to everything around him. His orange eyes glowed in the dim room as he sadly looked around. Once again, he began to weep over her, his sadness was mixed with hate and anger towards himself. As he cried, he screamed and growled in painful grief while cradling her corpse like a child. Even in death, her beauty was retained in her body. Her face was content, eyes closed in peaceful everlasting sleep.

Her skin was as pale as Death's, and he had noticed that. To this, he smiled behind his tears, it made him feel like she was closer to him. He felt an odd sense of solace in the room, which its only light source was a dim blue light that hardly lit up the room. It did, however, give Death the privacy he wanted, to grieve over her.

The cold from the room dried his blood and closed his wounds. His hand was indeed broken, but he hardly cared, the cold numbed the pain in his bones. The pain in his heart, however, he had to live with. The horseman's head began to spin with thoughts:_ "Should I stay here with her? Could I bring her back?__ Should I sit here and rot, wait until someone finds me here for them to care about me? No one can see that I suffer."_

Death growled with a dissatisfaction, gently laid her corpse back on the floor, put his mask back on and stared at his injured right hand. He felt sore and ached all over. He was frustrated, for his every fiber boiled with an uncontrollable outrage. With care, he slowly unwrapped the cowl to check the wound. It bled no more, but his index and middle knuckles protruded out from his pale skin in a gruesome way. Without even taking in the consideration of the severity of his wound, he once again slammed his hand into the wall near him. Death felt his knuckles shift into his hand as he reopened the wound.

This time, in extreme pain, he wailed in agony for it to stop. Although he wanted to hurt, his hand was numb from disturbing the wound. He inhaled through his teeth sharply and yelled in agony as his hand shook and bled, this time he didn't bother to cover up the wound again, the cowl was enveloped in dried blood. His eyes were wide an were the only things that were barely illuminating the room besides the dark blue light. It hurt so much that he was forced into a kneeling position. The Horseman gasped for air and coughed up saliva and bile, he spat it up behind his mask and it dripped onto the floor. It bled from his mouth, as he didn't bother to wipe it from his face or mask, and dripped to his chest.

Death struggled to the nearest wall and attempted to get up. His successful endeavor led to him feeling a surge of pain flow all over his body and attack his hand. He roared and gasped, and then coughed up more fluid. Death went to leave the room, when he stopped himself from moving any further - he inhaled and exhaled sharply and turned around to face her corpse. A grief stricken grimace was etched along his face.

He made his way to her and gathered up the corpse as best as he could with his broken hand. Death then made an attempt to find the door out of the room in which he had entered. He walked slowly towards a small light that had caught his eye whilst turning around, but it disappeared right before his eyes. He looked in all directions and saw nothing, something wasn't right.

Death had searched each wall for the door but somehow it was gone. He growled weakly and then looked over at her, a sense of depression then overwhelmed him. He gently placed her body down and sat near her. He crossed his legs and began to meditate.

_"I can smell it: blood. Acid burns in my veins as I rot from the inside out. There's a knot in my stomach that gets tighter with every move I make, and my throat is filled with sand. My head pulses shockwaves of pain that crush with every beat. My bones feel frayed and weak, and my joints ache like the rusted hinges of a door."_

His thoughts raced.

_"I'm going insane! No, I'm just overreacting, I must find peace. But why!? She is dead and it is by my hand for the sake of the damn Council! They say I cannot love, for I am bound by their word, I must do as told like a slave to the bastard owner! **NO! I AM NO OBJECT TO BE CONTROLLED! I AM THE REAPER AND I FOLLOW NO ONE!"**_

Death growled and screamed so loud, that he snapped.


	2. Two Hearts

**Two Hearts**

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><p><em>"You steal me away<em>  
><em> With your eyes and with your mouth<em>  
><em> And just take me back to a room in your house<em>  
><em> And stare at me with the lights off, t<em>_o feel something."_

_Touch- Daughter_

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><p>He awoke in a cold sweat, screaming. Nothing changed. His eyes pierced the air, not the warm orange they were naturally, and his pupils clearly stuck out from his iris. He was growling continuously, seething with rage; growling like an animal with a killing intent, but, there was nothing to kill. Death turned on himself.<p>

He dug his clawed fingers into his chest, making a sickened laughing/growling noise that echoed in the dark room. Death was so numb he couldn't feel any of his self-infliction, and either way, his healing factor would do just fine in fixing him up after the anger subsides. The warmth of blood was felt on his hand as it dripped from the gash in his chest, something then flooded his mind:

_"I'm insane, I feel my blood seep into my skin. So good, so warm." _Death slammed a bloody hand on the nearest wall with an ugly *splat*, then raised both hands near his face, to feel the warmth creep through his mask, he began to cry. *Growling* "_My dear, where have you gone?! Why did you leave me?" _Death then created another gash in his chest to fill the void of his anger.

_*Crying*_ _I...I don't like my name. It hurts me, mocks me! *Guttural scream* I DON'T LIKE IT! TAKE IT AWAY, MAKE IT STOP!" _He crawled to her corpse, bloody and weeping. _"Oh...My s-sweet...sweet dear. Why?! I've bled for you,"_

He stopped shortly, gasping heavily. The Horseman raised a shaky hand and touched her pale, colorless face. When he noticed the veins popping out from behind withering and dying skin, he couldn't take it.

_"I'VE TORN MYSELF OPEN FOR YOU!" _

Death yanked his mask off and violently threw it into the darkness to show his face. His true face, emotionally crippled with fear and anger, which shows that the love he had for her was precious.

_"I...I RIPPED MY SKIN, POURED MY BLOOD OUT FOR YOU!" _He calmed down slightly in the midst of a mix of pain and sadness, _"I shared my secrets," _then once again his voice rose in agony. _"I GAVE YOU M-MY..." _Death stopped once more, placed his bloody hands on his face and just cried beside her body before continuing with a growl, _"MY HEART!" _He wept and wept, occasionally cradling her and whispering something to himself. His exhaustion eventually led him to black out.

He awoke on the floor of the small room where he found the door to the one holding her lifeless body. Death stared at the ceiling before sitting up, his head throbbing as the blood rushed through his body. The stains of his blood stood out in the white room and on his pale skin, he covered his face with his arms and laid his hands into his hair. Death's face was covered in his own blood from his breakdown before passing out. He looked up to find that the door to the dark room was gone, and had then noticed that his mask was laying right in front of him on the floor looking up at the ceiling, he picked it up and, oddly, did not place it on his face.

_"Death."_

It was her voice. His head shot up in surprise and began to scan the room for the source. Death's breathing sped up as the realization that no one was there had hit him, hard. He slipped into a severe panic attack, heartbeat speeding up twofold, head spinning, and eyes unable to focus. The Horseman screamed out with all his strength,

**_"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!"_**

It was a painful wail, , an angry yet pleading scream for her to return into his arms. There was no focus, he couldn't, he shrouded his face with his right hand, and screamed violently as he sunk his claws into his lower abdomen, through pure muscle until he felt the blood pour out. The red fluid dripped down his abdomen as his hand shook uncontrollably. Tears strewn down his face, Death looked down at his stomach.

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><p>The land he lived on was remote. There was silence between the two of them, Death got to know her very well and had quite a hand of conflicted feelings towards her.<p>

She was beautiful.

They stood inside his home in a secluded room that Death considered a bedroom or quarters. She cared for him a lot, and he had never seen anyone who would give him such attention as she did.

_"Why do you wear the mask all the time? We are alone, its fine."_

_"I'd, rather not remove it." _He replied.

_"If you won't let me remove the mask, then at least let me get close with you. I love you."_

His eyes widened, he didn't know she had strong feelings for him, and he tried to deny it himself, but he felt the same way. Yet Death felt cut off in a way, he never let these emotions escape before.

she moved closer to him and raised her hand to caress his cheek, Death flinched when he felt her fingers, but then allowed her to continue. Her fingers brushed his cheek and then gently moved a lock of his hair out of his face. She then brought her face closer to his neck, and Death felt her warm lips under his chin. He closed his eyes and cautiously held her hips. She felt that by the way Death was giving into her that he needed this more than she. She stopped and looked up at him,

_"Are you okay?" _She whispered softly

Death did not answer.

All he did was place his forehead against hers and exhaled behind the mask. He looked sad, like he was about to cry, but there were no tears. Her hands now resided on his chest as he brought her as close as he could to his body. Death felt the warmth of her skin and got chills, he growled with satisfaction.

What Death did next took her by surprise, he picked her up by her legs and carried her over to the bed. With one arm supporting her legs and another supporting her head, Death leaned over and ever so gently laid her across the bed. He stood up momentarily and removed the armor covering his left shoulder and detached the scythes from his belt, the lack of upper armor revealed his bare muscular torso. Death then returned on the bed and straddled her legs.

_"You may take it off."_

She was puzzled at first, but then Death pointed at his mask, _"Go ahead."_

Her eyes widened for a moment, and then she raised her right hand from where it laid on his leg to the mask. Her fingers and thumb gripped the sides and gently pulled it away from his face, it made a small cracking noise as it was removed. She tossed it on the other side of the bed, and when her eyes made contact with his true face, she couldn't help but to smile warmly. Death's jawline was low, his deep orange eyes locked on hers. His lips looked soft, yet stern, and he had a scar running down the right side of his face.

Death looked down at her, saw her smiling, and smiled right back. To him, his smile was awkward but a smile nonetheless. He could not describe this feeling, it was warm, comforting, very alien to him. And that smile, he saw it, and felt overwhelmed.

Slowly, he leaned forward and gently kissed her on the lips, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Death broke the kiss to look at her, now that they were literally face to face with each other.

_"I ... I love you. So much." _He could not deny his feelings anymore, and he trembled slightly when those words left his mouth. When she heard what Death said, her face lit up. His forehead lowered so it touched her own and out of nervousness, Death laughed silently to her, and then planted a kiss on her lips again.

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><p>That memory surged back into his mind, and made him feel sick. He covered his hands with his face.<p>

_"Oh god."_

She taught him so much about himself that not even he knew. In the time they spent together, Death was able to open up to her. He spoke with her and she listened with an open mind, and in turn, Death did the same. Those three words, "I love you", he only spoke them to her in that intimate moment, never before had he even thought of them.

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><p>He remembered waking up to her beautiful sleeping face right beside him in the bed, in a content and quiet slumber. It was dark, very secluded in the room, they had fallen asleep for quite a while and now Death lay awake beside her. He turned on hi side to look at her, and a half-smile formed on his lips. He was still half asleep, but what he saw amused him: her body covered in a blanket up to her neck, and her sleeping face looking in his direction. Death rose his hand and gently caressed her left cheek, she was so warm. He had then remembered something she had told him before they had fallen asleep together:<p>

_"Stop denying the fact that you care. You are a gentle being on the inside an I am thankful for your choice in sharing that with me. When you said that you loved me, you were so sincere that I almost started crying. The tone in your voice was so different, and I know that you meant it."_

Death smiled at the thought, then leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Took a while but it's here!**

**In the beginning, I do feel that I did go out of character a bit, but that was due to that burst of emotion. I'm kind of showing a very broken side of Death, like, almost on the verge of insanity.**

** Death has recurring memories of an intimate moment he shared with his unnamed lover. I loved writing the first memory where she tells him she loves him, and Death doesn't know how to react, it shows that Death hasn't really been in this situation before. It also delves into his emotions a bit, how conflicted he feels, and then finally admitting that he loves her in turn. UGH I love how it came out! I'm happy with how personal I made it feel between the two of them, it's almost like you can feel their emotions as well!**

** I hope you enjoyed this chapter, in the next one, I do plan for more flashbacks like these. I like writing intimate scenes, they're so fun!**

**fav and follow to read more!**

**- SB **


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